Holiday Metrics

Hours spent in vehicle driving from place to place: 32.5Number of days over which travel occured: 4Average Hours per day: 8.125Number of deer consumed: .5Number of pigs: .25Number of turkeys that normally would have been consumed but lived to fight another day this year: 1Number of holiday skits watched: 1Subject of holiday skit: Santa is lazy and Rudolph the long-nosed reindeer must convince him that it’s worth it to get off his ass and bring Christmas.Number of holiday songs sung: ~5Number of dogs in insta-pack at relative’s home once everyone had brought theirs: 4Number of cats: 1Weight of cat: freakin’ hugeChances cat had: 0 (…but he made it to the cellar and wasn’t seen again)Number of days without net access: 4Number of days before becoming anxious about lack of access: .5Unhealthiness of this fact: currently being avoidedNumber of days after holiday travel that move to new home began: .5Number of days after holiday travel before returning to work: 1.5Completeness of move to new home: maybe 15%Number of gifts given: lotsNumber of gifts received: plentyNumber of times the word “love” used: many. We like each other.Number of days until next holiday season starts: ~350Number of days until ready for next holiday season: are we ever really ready?